Download Mobi The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith By Rosaria Butterfield
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Ebook About "Her book shows the power of love and hospitality to soften hearts." —Susan Olasky, World magazine"There are some stories that just need to be told—some testimonies of the Lord’s grace that are so unusual and so encouraging that they will bless everyone who hears them. This is exactly the case with Rosaria Butterfield, who recently authored The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert." —Tim Challies, Challies blog"As you read Champagne Butterfield’s incredibly poignant and vulnerable account, you can’t help but put yourself in Smith’s place…. Would you have reached out to a woman who thought Christians and their God were ‘stupid, pointless and menacing’?" —Jim Daly, president, Focus on the FamilyRosaria, by the standards of many, was living a very good life. She had a tenured position at a large university in a field for which she cared deeply. She owned two homes with her partner, in which they provided hospitality to students and activists that were looking to make a difference in the world. There, her partner rehabilitated abandoned and abused dogs. In the community, Rosaria was involved in volunteer work. At the university, she was a respected advisor of students and her department's curriculum.Then, in her late 30s, Rosaria encountered something that turned her world upside down-the idea that Christianity, a religion that she had regarded as problematic and sometimes downright damaging, might be right about who God was, an idea that flew in the face of the people and causes that she most loved. What follows is a story of what she describes as a "train wreck" at the hand of the supernatural. These are her secret thoughts about those events, written as only a reflective English professor could.Also available in a newly expanded edition, ISBN 978-1884527807.Book The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith Review :
1366 Okay, I was really hesitant to write a review for this book. Overall, the book gets some pretty high reviews and some pretty dismissive reviews. I'm somewhere in the middle with this book.Same sex attraction has become a bit of freak show in our culture and I don't think that demanding that someone go into depth about the pain of their sexual experiences or desires is appropriate or necessary. Part of the reason I think that this obsession is prevalent in our culture is because sexual activity or sexual desire of any kind is the currency and measure of a person's humanity.Until our culture can put sex in its appropriate role in society (what is the role of sex in a secular culture?), sex and sexuality in our culture will only get more distorted. Rosaria does not make sexual sin the center of her testimony, because that is not where it belongs. A testimony is not about the sin, it is about the Savior. Rosaria strives to do this even if she does it in a very annoying and condescending fashion.Which brings me to my next point. This book is a shining example of the RP Denomination’s obsession with preening the plumes of its God-given glory. It is off putting for non-believers and embarrassing for those who are a member of this denomination.Rosaria spends pages talking about how godly her denomination is and the godly wisdom of everyone in the RP church. She talks about her PhD and the fact that her husband has a PhD and that her kids are all brilliant. She talks about hermeneutics and how her higher education has afforded her a deeper understanding of the Bible.She talks about how unique her family is because it is transracial and how the RP church is a champion of marginalized peoples as though her church denomination is the only denomination that does this.All of this pomp and circumstance comes off as condescending and exclusive. The RP church has always come off this way. They love to toot their own horn with how smart, chic, and biblically sound their doctrines are.Rosaria spends her time name dropping and blowing sunshine up the sphincters of the big wigs within the denomination and the glossier her praise becomes the more nauseous the reader becomes…At one point in the book I thought “gee, If I was an RP, I would want to publish this book about my denomination too!”Rosaria sometimes comes off as smug. Why does Rosaria feel compelled to define her family as “transracial” as opposed to just Christian? Why when describing her children she talks about their skin color? Also, there is a bunch of other off color comments that sent shockwaves through my soul.She refers to others who struggle with same sex attraction as “wackos.” These are wounded people Rosaria, not wackos. Rosaria states “I didn’t want to call attention to myself. I didn’t want every wacko on campus to confess his or her feelings of same-sex love or homophobia or refer for counseling their gay aunts or neighbors.” Nice…for someone who doesn’t want to draw attention to themselves, you spend pages talking about all the people that came “Flocking” to your lectures and ministries before and after conversion. If you didn’t want to call attention to yourself, why did you write this book?Because the RP church needed a poster child for Same Sex Attraction to illustrate what they and their God believe about it. But not wanting to do it offensively, they found someone they could groom into a perfect candidate. Marry her off to a pastor and become a mother of a bunch of unwanted children. I don’t actually think this, but I can see a non-believer formulating this thought process. Rosaria’s testimony sounds rehearsed, processed and sometimes schmaltzy (ad nauseum) with just enough sour so you don’t explode from the righteous sugar high she is peddling.The next example of her bullying makes me even more angry, because she claims to champion the marginalized. The boy that was the president of the LGTQ community at her university she described in the most unflattering of terms. She states, “B was a skinny boy, high on prescription medication for ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, and who knows what else. He had been flunking out of school since his first day on campus…. He paced the length of my office, his spike orange hair and red face made him look like a carrot or a cartoon figure.”So this kid, who will always remember trusting Rosaria with the delicate and painful parts of himself, is now characterized in this fashion in a Christian testimony. I hope that Jesus gives B the grace to discern between God’s deep and abiding love for him and her foolishness. It’s heart breaking. It’s like she is bullying the LGBTQ community from the other side of her conversion. There was no need to put that in her testimony at all. Stuff like that rips through me.She also talks about how easy it is for the church to unintentionally manipulate people. Throughout the book I was wondering who was doing the manipulating: the RP church to Rosaria, Rosaria to her audience, or both.So far in my research of SSA, Homosexuality and Christianity, the church is only offering up the testimonies of married, influential women within their church congregations. Where are those who are single, love Jesus, and are still struggling? Is the church afraid to publish the testimony of a single Christian struggling with sexual identity? It is frustrating to only have these perspectives. Is the church uncomfortable with publishing the testimonies of those who are single and still struggling? Why are only married, formerly SS attracted or non-SS attracted people the only voice in the church speaking about this painful battle?My conclusion so far is that the church is trying to tend to the wounded, but it is still falling short of its intended audience.As one of the wounded, I want to help, but I am afraid. I’m afraid I’ll end up like Rosaria. I don’t want to be a poster child or a Christian carnival attraction. I don’t want my struggles to be put on display, twisted and manipulated for ‘Christ’s Crown and Covenant.’ I don’t want to hurt others around me and turn them into cartoons and caricatures for a testimony.So…What is the point of a testimony? How does one talk about the glory of God in their life in an edifying fashion? How does one read a testimony without looking to be offended? 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